I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
