is your mom at the bar?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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