Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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