Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers

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(647): View more from Ontario

Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics

(416): View more from Toronto

But that's half the fun of it

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(510): View more from California

Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands

(1-510): View more from California

Tgat was the small dick alert

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.

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(214): View more from Texas

you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.

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(309): View more from Illinois

All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.

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(925): View more from California

The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.

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