i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
