Plan B is the new Plan A
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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