i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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