So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
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