a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
operation harelip BJ is a go
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I still have a little drunk in my system
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize