The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize