just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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