There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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