thus making me awesome and them whores
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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