I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
