I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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