Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
