Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
