Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
