the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well I just put wine in my tea
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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