Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Come see our sink grown plant.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
