It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
