Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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