i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
