It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
