What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I am available for nakedness
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
