in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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