Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
