dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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