we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
worst night to have a conscience
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
