she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
