God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Houston, we have a blender
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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