I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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