well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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