I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
