i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She even gives head with a lisp.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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