I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Damn victory sex feels great
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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