Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
