I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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