and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
