The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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