i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
