I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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