I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
