i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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