brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
