So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
