Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
