Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
