Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
