No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
