Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
