That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
