Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize