These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
