my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
