Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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