I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
