I'm lost and stupid without you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
