He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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